on a day last year... revisited.

The shivers work their way up my spine…
Knowing I stand in the middle of someplace divine…
Looking at the house of God, in awe I’m almost crying…
Seeing people united as they walk around the house 7 times…
Asking for forgiveness because all of humanity has committed a crime…
I’d like to go to heaven, so I pray to get on line…
For this is the day I’m ready to make changes…
Because now I see, finally in front of God I stand…
on that land that Prophet Ibrahim built with his own hands…
with a beautiful black cloth and Gold scriptures draped over…
I ask God to forgive everyone I know, with my head lowered…
I surrender my soul to the movement of the greater cause…
I almost promise to be a better a man but then I pause…
Because if I don’t keep the promise, I’d be a liar…
So right here, I say I’ll change followed by an inshAllah…
God show me the way that all the great muslims have already seen…
With one last look towards the sky, I breathe in deep, and say Ameen.

thanks for you concern...

I’ve lost any and all inspiration to write….

the beginning...

I used to pencil a couple of lines...
soon I got a pen, upgraded to rhymes...
page after page, a look inside...
my life, my happiness, my internal divide...
the pen flowed and soon became my guide...
helped me in times of need, so i'd write...
to the point i was alrite...
than i wrote a little more...
cos I knew if I stopped, I'd get bored...
wordplay became my passion...
slowly my lines grew to full blown scriptures...
lyrics so vivid, my words described a thousand pictures...
behind your eyes, in your mind my words I painted...
so you won't forget me if ever my image gets tainted...
remember me as someone real and honest...i promise...
not to let you down, but i'm not flawless...
and if you ever doubt me for minute...
sit down and read what i wrote and imagine you in it...

the way you look tonight...

I’m all mellowed out. Sinatra’s playing in the background. “The way you look tonight…” I can almost imagine you and me sitting on a table. Dining classy. With hesitant yet deep looks into each other’s eyes. I see you smiling, so I smile back. “You’re lovely, with your smile so warm…” I thought I’d be nervous but I’m calm. You look beautiful and confident, you look angelic. “Keep that breathless charm.” The sound of spoons and forks screaming and clanging across the plates fades. I’m zoning out, mesmerized by your beauty. Listening to every word you say. I can almost see each word float out of your mouth. Life in slow motion. “With each word your tenderness grows…” Your every move, from delicately tucking a few strands of your hair behind your ear to the grace with which you smile seems calculated. Calculated to perfection.

Lovely ... never, ever change, ’cause I love you ... just the way you look tonight…

this is torture..

I'm wide awake. My eyes are dry and hurting. Almost as if shards of glass are embedded within my eye lids. It hurts to blink, but I have to. Its making me cry tears of blood. My black and white face is framed in front of a dark background. The only color I see is the blood. The red makes its way down onto my cheeks. Unwiped, it falls freely onto my white shirt. So vivid. Each tear follows the next. I just wish I could lay in bed and shut my eyes. But my own anger won't let me. With every passing moment, I can feel the shards of glass carve my path to blindness. Cold air seeps through my nose, permeating throughout my lungs, subtly provoking them to cough. I smell blood, almost taste it too. I swallow and realize the glass has spread. I'm breaking down. Slowly, I waste...

"you made me believe....

we were meant to fly..." and then clipped my wings...

Demoppression...

I’m an outlaw. Not by choice, but by process of elimination. The severity might not be that as of the most wanted, however I am wanted. Not by the right people; but by the power hungry that can’t stand someone with a growing reputation that threatens them philosophically, physically and spiritually; someone that willingly stands up against a stance that makes as much sense as the justification of the war in Iraq. I’m not a threat to anybody but myself right now. But my mentality has a certain potential which I believe if I can reach, I can be the change in this world that I want to see. A few might follow, most wouldn’t dare. The amount of dedication is what will scare them, the same way it scares me.

Construction of democracy on fair and stable grounds is essential. Governmental puppetry will always cause conflict and blood shed. In a land where democracy is forcedly installed is not democratic. The common people did not support democracy. Some might have, others merely followed without knowing the concept of a fair democratic state. Education is the key that will unlock the door towards progression past the windows of violence which stems from oppression and constant humiliation. There is a reason for anger and hatred; nobody arises from their bed one day hating someone unconditionally. Fathers and sons have died. Nobody listened when the mothers and daughters cried. The tears shed were merely tears wasted. Screaming words were merely a waste of breath. Is there a reason you would want to live if you had nothing left?

a crush on nothing...

i saw you from afar...
said hello, in my heart...
i know you're shy...
my confidence split apart...
i decided to walk away...
i walked backwards..
so I could see you as much...
as i could by the end of the day...

early morning, and i'm stuck...
stuck in a bubble...
thats caused me so much trouble...
i dream of stars and the moon...
in my dream i can croon...
insomniacs to sleep...
i'm hallucinating...
i'm infatuated way to deep...

i see the world in 2-D...
happiness and sadness...
nothing else in between...
no grey area, just black & white...
and sometimes jealousy green..
never infused, seperated...
i love you so much..
sometimes i hate it...

my words have meaning...
for a moment...
sometimes for an evening...
sometimes i sound confused...
like a little child...
in a crowd, lost alone...
looking for his mother...
or for a way home...

-unconcerned..